May 25, 2023 Back Home

Six Surefire Signs You’re a Cat Lady

Who are you calling a cat lady? Me?

Darn right, I’m a cat lady.

In fact, I dreamed of growing up to become a Cat Lady ever since I was a little Cat Girl. Some people like to attach the adjective “crazy” to the term “cat lady.” Seems a bit judge-y to us.

What’s wrong with loving cats? And if having three cats is OK, what’s wrong with 23?

So this one goes out to all the Cat Ladies — the Cat Women and Cat Damsels, too. And while we’re at it, let’s give a big feline shoutout to the Cat Guys, Cat Dudes and Cat Fellows — from here to Katmandu.

If you’re curious if you are indeed a Cat Lady, ask yourself these six simple questions:

World’s Best Cat Lady Quiz

1. Do you talk to your cats?

Cat lady or not, you should definitely talk to your cats.

However, clues about whether or not one is a cat lady can be found in what types of conversations you are having — and whether any kitties are talking back.

For example: Are you discussing the role of Keynesian economics in the post-World War II economy? If so, consider engaging your cat in more accessible topics: like whether today’s a good day for pâté or mini filets.

2. do you buy gifts for your cats – even when it’s not their birthday or national cat day?

Most cat owners buy occasional presents for their fuzzy friends, but again the important thing is what kind of presents you are purchasing.

Simple catnip toys and make-believe mice can provide hours of feline fun, but more extravagant cat gifts like mini Maseratis, crystal chandeliers and feline virtual reality goggles could be seen as a red flag.

Pro tip: If you are concerned about being a cat lady, try to avoid spending more than 31.7% of your overall household budget on cat toys and gifts.

3. do you regularly wear “fun” cat-related clothing?

Online cat-clothing shoppers will find a wealth of feline-related clothing; and much of this merch can indicate the presence of cat lady tendencies.

For example, if you sometimes wear a shirt that says “I’m a purrrrfectly sane cat lady,” then you may be a perfectly sane cat lady.

Here are several more garments for those who enjoy wearing their inner cat lady on their sleeve:

4. does your cat have health insurance?

Good. Nowadays it is perfectly normal to protect your pet’s health with an insurance policy.

Like us, cats may occasionally suffer human ailments such as salmonella, roundworms, and pink eye.

However, be sure to avoid feline insurance carriers that charge higher premiums to cover multiple lives; for example, if you have seven cats there is no need to buy insurance to cover each of their 63 total lives.

(Note: Seek professional help if you discover that one or more of your cats has taken out a life insurance policy out on you.)

5. is your cat(s) combined weight more than yours?

Say, you typically tip the scales at 150 pounds. Many experts believe that if the total body weight of your cats adds up to more than 150 pounds (say 16 cats at 10 pounds each), then there is an excellent chance that you are a cat lady.

We’ll stop there though – cat ladies come in all shapes and sizes and you’re purrfect the way you are!

6. do you treat your cats like actual babies?

That’s OK. Studies show that a vast majority of humans use some version of a “baby talk” voice when conversing with cats.

However, 9 out of 10 cat lady experts agree that you may be taking things too far if you are potty training your four-legged friends using safety pins and washable cloth diapers instead of the litter box.