February 17, 2021 Back Home

How to Fix Cats…the Movie.

Some say it was purr-ty bad. Others thought it was purr-fect. Some wondered why anyone would want to recreate the 1981 Tony Award-winning stage musical of the same name by Andrew Lloyd Webber in the first place.

But the critics have spoken. With a 20% Rotten Tomatoes critic score and a 53% audience score, it’s clear that a lot of viewers thought that the movie was simply claw-ful. And making matters worse, despite a star-studded cast and state of the art animation technology, the long-awaited remake is estimated to have lost around $115 million dollars at the box office.

The movie did go on to win several awards — but not the ones you put on your mantel.

These included Worst Film of the Year from two film organizations — the Golden Schmoes Awards and Hawaii Film Critics Society — Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay from the Golden Raspberry Awards, and Worst Digital Makeup from the Yoga Awards.

But despite all of the negative reviews, all is not lost for Cats.

With a few litter tweaks and edits here and there, we think we can improve this box-office bomb into something worthy of an Emmy.

**HOW we would FIX CATS (2019)**

First of all, any movie or story about or involving cats is awesome in our book! Purr and simple. Cat content rules. But nonetheless, here’s how we would make Cats just a litter bit better.

Less CGI Cats, More Plot and Parents

Cats makes perfect sense as a live musical or even as a book, but they lost us when they decided to combine classic numbers and the original plot with dancing CGI rendered cat-people.

Seriously, there is A LOT of “cat-people” in this film and not enough plot to support it all.

Also, Cats is rated PG, but may not be a good choice for all kids. In fact, many adults who watch it reported being slightly creeped out. Perhaps instead of CGI, they could’ve fully animated it, which would’ve help remove some of the weirdness, and made it more of a family flick.

A Weird Litter Lineup of Stars

Somehow the casting director persuaded Jason Derulo, Jennifer Hudson, James Cordon, and Taylor Swift all to put their careers on paws for this production – and with such an excellent cast, it’s a shame that many viewers felt the dialogue and plot fell flat.

A lot of the hype was built around Rebel Wilson as the ‘Gumbie cat’ but her role in the film was considered pretty predictable, according to the reviews.

Nevertheless, it was fun to watch all of these talented celebrities pretend to be cats, and they all did their best to portray their unconventional roles. Might we suggest the next time they remake the film they pair Taylor Swift with other known cat-loving celebs like Russel Brand, Ricky Gervais and Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey?

Next Time, Skip the Digital Fur

With CGI reminiscent of some notable movie flubs – like Sonic the Hedgehog — and confusingly faux looking human faces that give Polar Express flashbacks — Cats took a lot of criticism in regards to the VFX ‘digital fur technology.”

To achieve this effect, actors had to wear motion-sensor bodysuits and wooden dowels on their lower backs to serve as tails. It ended up making people feel super creepy.

We imagine that the unedited raw footage of this movie would be really funny to watch. Next time, maybe just stick with makeup and avoid the digital enhancements.

If you’ve got some time on your hands and need a good laugh, give Cats a watch. You may love it. You may not.